just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
