Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
