Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
