Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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