You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
