so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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