Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize