Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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