She said her name was "party"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
