I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
