I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
