you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
