His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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