just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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