jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
