You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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