I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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