I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
