Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
