there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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