If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize