He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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