I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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