I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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