Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
