With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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