im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
