maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
