i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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