Got a toothbrush?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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