hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can Purell be used as lube?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
