Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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