she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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