my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
