you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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