1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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