He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
