Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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