Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
