Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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