I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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