i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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