What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
