mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
