yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
