she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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