I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
