So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
