i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
