It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
