I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just high enough for therapy.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
