Kiss
Puke
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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