So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
