She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
