News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
