it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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