all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
