you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
