I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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